Poop is a 4 letter word.

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“Mommy, I just farted.”
“Abs, let’s call it ‘tooted.”
“Ok, my toot just farted.”
The story of my life.
My girls are still rocking the Boston accent, which makes faahhht sound extra funny. However, I’m starting to feel like a trash mouth down here. One day, we were at the playground, and a young boy, probably M’s age, asked to go in the field to play. A few minutes later he ran back and told his mom that there was dog poop on the grass.
Mom then threatened to wash his mouth out with soap.
I was truly floored. Poop? Poop is a swear? Poop? Really? I have since learned that the appropriate thing to say would have been ‘poo.’ Because it’s so different than poop. Also? Don’t say butt. It’s tush. Or bottom. Not even bum. But doubling up? Poo-poo or bum-bum? Always ok. Even when screamed.
A friend was telling me a great story about some little girls she knows who were reading a potty training book and giggling at all the bad words. Like poop, pee, and butt. Is that really where a parent wants to focus their efforts? How about words like ‘hate’ and ‘ugly’ and ‘stupid?’ Those are the words I don’t want my kids saying. Fart? Poop? Not too harmful, in my opinion. But…for the sake of manners, I need to work on it. It doesn’t help when Daddy sings them the ‘Fart, fart, poop, poop’ song. He made it up, of course. ‘Toot, toot, poo, poo’ just doesn’t have the same ring.
How about ‘Oh my God?’ Totally unacceptable. I am very guilty of this. I have such a hard time saying, “Oh my gosh’ or ‘Oh my goodness.’ It doesn’t sound like me. ‘Holy shit!’ Now that sounds like me. I may be banned from the neighborhood if I let that one slip out. I try so hard…I can’t stop saying it. Even saying WTF (I even say W-T-F, not the real words) makes me feel like a truck driver here. I’d like to think that I don’t have a horrible mouth, but when the first word that pops into my head when a see a certain someone is ‘douche’, I need to question myself.
{Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol? – Anyone know who said this?}